


New York City Administrative Code §16-123

by burglebezzlement



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Brief swearing, Bureaucracy, Epistolary, Gen, Humor, Mad Science, Snow, Snow Shoveling, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-13 18:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13576854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burglebezzlement/pseuds/burglebezzlement
Summary: The Ghostbusters are willing to go up against any ghost.The City of New York snow removal requirements for their new headquarters? That may be a little more complicated.





	New York City Administrative Code §16-123

**Author's Note:**

  * For [penna_nomen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/penna_nomen/gifts).



> Happy Chocolate Box!
> 
> Credit for the CSS used here is due to La_Temperanza's amazing [work skin tutorials](https://archiveofourown.org/series/458134), specifically the emails and flyers.

Dear LESSEE:

You have been fined $100 for Failure to Clean Ice/Snow under New York City Administrative Code §16-123.

As an Owner, Lessee, Tenant, Occupant, or other person having charge of the building located at 14 NORTH MOORE STREET, it is your responsibility to clear snow from all public sidewalks adjacent to your property.

Tips for Proper Snow Removal

-Do not shovel show into the street! The placement of snow in the street can lead to a $100 fine if observed by Sanitation personnel.  
-Paths must be at least 4 feet wide.  
-Residents on cross-streets must shovel to the curb.  
-All hydrants must be cleared of snow and ice.  
-While clearing catch basins is not required, it is appreciated by Your City!

LEAVING SNOW AND ICE — JUST ISN’T NICE

* * *

From: Abby Yates

To: Ghosbusters

What the hell, you guys. Why is the city fining us?

Attachment: whatthehellyouguys.pdf

* * *

From: Patty Tolan

To: Ghosbusters

I told y’all we couldn’t trust Kevin to shovel.

* * *

From: Erin Gibert

To: Kevin Beckman

CC: Ghostbusters

Kevin, where were you during the snowstorm last Thursday, while we were out busting that ghost over in SoHo? You said you would shovel the sidewalks when the snow stopped. 

* * *

From: Kevin Beckman

To: Ghosbusters

I was at my all-city adults only snowball fight league. It’s really fun, you guys should try it. I designed the logo!

Attachment: TacoBell.png

* * *

From: Patty Tolan

To: Ghosbusters

Told you so.

* * *

From: Erin Gilbert

To: Jennifer Lynch, Mayor’s Office

Hello! Please see attached citation from the Department of Sanitation. Is there any way the city could send a sidewalk plow around or something? I know we’re not officially on the books, but it’d be a huge help. We’ve been out busting ghosts the last three storms.

Thanks again! 

Attachment: Citation.pdf

* * *

From: Jennifer Lynch, Mayor’s Office

To: Erin Gilbert

No can do. The mayor’s got you guys on a strictly sub-rosa basis. Sending City of New York sidewalk plows around to do your shoveling for you is not a sub-rosa action.

_This electronic message is confidential and is intended only for the intended recipients. Any unauthorized use of this message for any purposes, including disclosure, review, or forwarding, is strictly prohibited._

* * *

Dear LESSEE:

You have been fined $250 for Failure to Clean Ice/Snow under New York City Administrative Code §16-123 — Second Offense.

As an Owner, Lessee, Tenant, Occupant, or other person having charge of the building located at 14 NORTH MOORE STREET, it is your responsibility to clear snow from all public sidewalks adjacent to your property.

Tips for Proper Snow Removal

-Do not shovel show into the street! The placement of snow in the street can lead to a $100 fine if observed by Sanitation personnel.  
-Paths must be at least 4 feet wide.  
-Residents on cross-streets must shovel to the curb.  
-All hydrants must be cleared of snow and ice.  
-While clearing catch basins is not required, it is appreciated by Your City!

LEAVING SNOW AND ICE — JUST ISN’T NICE

* * *

From: Erin Gilbert

To: Jennifer Lynch, Mayor’s Office

Hello! Sorry to bug you again, but we just got another one. We’re going to work out a shoveling plan, but for this one, we were off fighting the frost giant that got loose in Central Park. Is there anything you can do about the fine?

Thanks again!

Attachment: Citation2.pdf

* * *

From: Jennifer Lynch, Mayor’s Office

To: Erin Gilbert

I talked to the magistrate for you. He had the following feedback:

1) No.

2) He indicated that one of your team members CAUSED the storm in question, and, if I may quote, “If we had a fucking code to charge them under for that, we would.”

3) No. 

_This electronic message is confidential and is intended only for the intended recipients. Any unauthorized use of this message for any purposes, including disclosure, review, or forwarding, is strictly prohibited._

* * *

From: Erin Gilbert

To: Ghostbusters

See below from Jennifer in the Mayor’s Office. What does she mean, one of us caused the storm?

….Holtz?

* * *

From: Jillian Holtzman

To: Ghostbusters

Are you saying I used my super-weather-powers for bad? It was completely necessary. While my new resonance interrupter is powerful enough to take on a demi-god, the morphic resonance of the frost giant’s form is only capable of responding to similar morphology, which of course is only technologically feasible under Snowmaggeddon conditions. It’s just fortunate that my meteorological drift seeding experiments have been showing such promise.

Unless the city wanted a frost giant hanging around. I guess they could have made him a new exhibit in the Zoo. Maybe they’re angry about that.

* * *

From: Abby Yates

To: Ghostbusters

That’s awesome. Finally the weather seeding project from way back comes in handy! Holtzy, you could cause as many snow days as you wanted!

Just don’t call up any storms so big they shut down food delivery. Mama’s gotta eat.

* * *

From: Erin Gilbert

To: Ghostbusters

We cannot cause unlimited snow days. We cannot cause snowstorms at all, unless there is a valid ghost busting-related reason for doing so.

Holtzy, with great power comes great responsibility — you know that, right?

* * *

From: Jillian Holtzman

To: Ghostbusters

I AM THE LORD OF THE SNOW

* * *

From: Patty Tolan

To: Ghostbusters

Feels like we’re always out busting ghosts during this storms. Any reason for that?

* * *

From: Abby Yates

To: Ghostbusters

Paranormal phenomena can be triggered by environmental disturbances. Spectral field theory suggests that the strength of the field can be affected by any number of factors, and certainly it seems to be stronger at night. Perhaps certain ghosts are able to use the psychokinetic energy produced by storm systems to manifest themselves.

A promising avenue for further research! 

* * *

From: Patty Tolan

To: Ghostbusters

So we’re going to keep getting cited for improper snow removal. That’s $350 a storm. We should look into hiring a snow removal service — it’s probably cheaper at this point.

* * *

From: Jillian Holtzman

To: Ghostbusters

Don’t worry about it. I have the situation fully under control.

* * *

From: Erin Gilbert

To: Ghostbusters

Are you going to control the weather again? Because Jennifer from the Mayor’s Office just called and she’s very upset about the whole weather control thing. Apparently your little Snowmaggeddon blew the city’s annual snow removal budget, and as she said, “the damage from the troll would have been cheaper.”

* * *

From: Jillian Holtzman

To: Ghostbusters

No, no, way more elegant than that. 

* * *

From: Erin Gilbert

To: Ghostbusters

Holtz….. 

* * *

From: Jillian Holtzman

To: Ghostbusters

I got this. Don’t worry so much. 

* * *

Dear LESSEE:

You have been fined $450 for Failure to Clean Ice/Snow under New York City Administrative Code §16-12 — Third Offense and shoveling snow into a public throughway.

As an Owner, Lessee, Tenant, Occupant, or other person having charge of the building located at 14 NORTH MOORE STREET, it is your responsibility to clear snow from all public sidewalks adjacent to your property.

Tips for Proper Snow Removal

-Do not shovel show into the street! The placement of snow in the street can lead to a $100 fine if observed by Sanitation personnel.  
-Paths must be at least 4 feet wide.  
-Residents on cross-streets must shovel to the curb.  
-All hydrants must be cleared of snow and ice.  
-While clearing catch basins is not required, it is appreciated by Your City!

LEAVING SNOW AND ICE — JUST ISN’T NICE

From: Erin Gilbert

To: Jennifer Lynch, Mayor’s Office

We got another one! The snow was gone this time! The snow was 100% gone and I’m attaching pictures to prove it.

Attachments: ThirdCitation.pdf, ClearSidewalk.jpg, ClearSidewalk2.jpg

* * *

From: Jennifer Lynch, Mayor’s Office

To: Erin Gilbert

Are you kidding? Are you fucking kidding me with this?

Your little snow-melting flamethrower Roomba hack may have melted the snow, but it also meant putting an untested, UNPILOTED ROBOT OF DEATH onto the city streets.

The Sanitation worker who wrote your citation is still in shock. He got this cell phone video before running away. He keeps sobbing that your machine set the snow on fire. ON FIRE, Erin.

Count yourselves lucky that City Administrative Code isn’t creative enough to cover deathbots.

_This electronic message is confidential and is intended only for the intended recipients. Any unauthorized use of this message for any purposes, including disclosure, review, or forwarding, is strictly prohibited._

Attachment: GhostbustersDeathMachine.mov

* * *

From: Erin Gilbert

To: Ghostbusters

HOLTZ. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING.

Attachment: GhostbustersDeathMachine.mov

* * *

From: Jillian Holtzman

To: Ghostbusters

I was thinking that science is awesome, and it totally saved the day!

Did you see the expression on that kid’s face when the laser cleaning cycle triggered? He loved it. I bet SnowBot is his new best friend. 

* * *

From: Erin Gilbert

To: Ghostbusters

We can’t put untested technology out on a city street while we’re half a city away. We have liability insurance to think of!

I mean, assuming our insurance carrier still cover us after they see that video.

* * *

From: Patty Tolan

To: Ghostbusters

I think our insurance situation has been touch-and-go since the time we brought down that abandoned building. 

* * *

From: Jillian Holtzman

To: Ghostbusters

SnowBot wouldn’t hurt a fly. Let me call up another Snowmaggeddon and I’ll prove it to you!

* * *

From: Jennifer Lynch, Mayor’s Office

New York City Department of Sanitation 

Hey, guys — can we look into putting the Ghostbusters into the regular sidewalk plow routes?


End file.
